May 30 2009
Dear Customer,
Recently we informed you that we were raising our Overdraft Fee and Return Fee to $39. After careful consideration of the many factors “currently impacting” the economy, our business and our customers, we have decided to leave our Overdraft and Return fee at $38.73 per item.
_______
Because We Care!
May 28 2009
So, my life as I know it is over. I’ve been given a responsibility far exceeding my aptitude. 1) It involves counting. And since I spend all day every day alphabetizing, I know absolutely nothing about numbers. I know that when counting, one number usually follows another, except when it precedes. But then I’ll wonder, [...]
May 21 2009
“Where would we even start? Things got no head.”
“Take a ride through.”
“Ride through. On what?”
“East. Elmshire. Provost. Take your pick.”
“There is no East side.”
“Fucking dead ends. Nothing on this guy. Address undetermined. No numbers, I.D. Nothing. Who the fuck is this kid? Shows up in a tank, after a fire? One of two survivors, and [...]
May 21 2009
One, never trust anything an agent says about writing. Their job is to sell manuscripts, which makes them inherently partial.
Two, agents have seen it all—all types of manuscripts, in all conditions, from all sorts of writers. This has made most agents jaded (not to mention perfunctory). They have a habit of talking down to writers [...]
May 20 2009
One bit of advice someone taught me is that to be successful you do what successful people do. A variation on that chord, at least in my mind, is Eliot’s retort, “Immature artists imitate; Mature artists steal.” So, I’ve looked to successful artists—both creatively and financially—as much to study which attributes set them apart not [...]
May 20 2009
So, here it is, the cursed abomination that is the pinnacle of Hollywood indulgence and decadence and moral depravity. Not only has some asshole remade a definitive masterpiece of in the annals of film history, but he’s butchered it, cut up its face with a razorblade, forcibly sodomized it, and repackaged it as a musical. [...]
May 15 2009
Since I don’t have the energy to deconstruct what is ultimately a positive review of Apatow’s new film, Funny People, I’m going to post a link to Esquire’s review and then go mainline caffeine before going to my real job (i.e., the one that pays me money). I’m eager to see the film, liking all [...]
May 13 2009
I don’t always like being the one last to a thread, but I’m mostly glad that I had never heard of Sasha Grey before Steven Soderbergh chose her for the lead in his new film, The Girlfriend Experience. I guess since Godard is the trendy name, it’s the one they drop. But aren’t curious, you [...]
May 12 2009
Take a moment from your busy day to sit and breathe and chill for the next three minutes and thirty-one seconds.