May 28 2009
Taking incompetency to new plateaus
So, my life as I know it is over. I’ve been given a responsibility far exceeding my aptitude. 1) It involves counting. And since I spend all day every day alphabetizing, I know absolutely nothing about numbers. I know that when counting, one number usually follows another, except when it precedes. But then I’ll wonder, what is the antecedent of five? Is a number a single entity, or is it the sum of its parts? What is the value of zero? How can place two numbers together to make a new number, but if you add them together you get a different number: like, why does 1 + 3 = 4, but not 13? 2) It involves money. Considering I lost business and house and declared bankruptcy last year, I’m not sure I’m the person best qualified for this responsibility. 3) What’s a “toggle exchange”?
It occurred to me yesterday that the difference between a career and a job is a cash register. If you handle money, you have a job; if you manage accounts, you have a career. I…have a job, and not a good one. I’ve been perfectly content these past six months working in a stock room, breaking down pallets. I don’t need to count and handle money to be happy. Ya know. But sometimes life isn’t fair. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. All that I ask is when they crucify me for fucking up that you speak well of me at my graveside.